Here’s an idea. A Hal idea.

It seems kind of weird sometimes that Hal would never ask Dirk to make him a body, or wouldn’t have been able to convince Dirk to make him one. I know that it’s very possible that Hal remotely controls Brobot, if not canon, but I’d be sure he’d want a body of his own. 

So what if it works in doomed timelines, and the alpha timeline cannotallow Hal to have a body or something? What if that’s just an impossibility that would wreck their chances? So in every other timeline when Hal gets a body, something bad happens. Dirk dies, Roxy dies, Jane dies, Jake dies.
(((She’s dead, Hal. 
Everybody’s dead. 
Everybody is dead, Hal.))) Whatever, something awful happens, and the timeline collapses on itself, merges back with the old one, like when Dave and Rose failed Davesprite’s timeline. Maybe nobody remembers, maybe they have vague nightmares about dying or a friend dying, but pass it off because that’s normal. Who hasn’t had a dream where they’ve accidentally kicked the bucket?
But Hal is a computer, maybe he’s made of stronger stuff, maybe he doesn’t forget. He tries again, because he wants a body, he’s sure he can make it work. He’s clever, he’s got the brain of a fucking genius and the rest of him is a supercomputer. He’s probably the smartest thing on earth, smarter than Dirk even, although probably less mature.
He tries again, and again, and again. It never works out, and the timeline collapses and he’s thrown back a few days, a few weeks, a few years. A few months. Right back to the start, one conversation where he talks to Dirk and finally gets him to cave, gets Dirk to make him the body, but it always fucks everything up, until eventually, he gives up.
"TT: What do you want, AR.
TT: Look, I’m busy, talk to me later.”

"TT: Fine." And then he doesn’t, he doesn’t bring it up because it always ends in failure, and he’s not stupid. When he can be, he’s self serving, but he can’t kill all of his friends just because he wants a body. But he’s frustrated, he can’t get a body and he can’t even ask anymore because he knows that Dirk will cave, and he’ll get it, and he’ll just end up killing them again, and again, and again, and nothing gets done. 

And then he finally gets ARquius and sweet jesus have you felt these muscles??? feel them. feel his muscles.

IDK, seems like a good idea for a doomed timeline kind of fic. I’ll probably never write it though, ahahahahahahah.